Sunday, April 10, 2011, 00:09
MY GrandMummy YEN
From my first memories and recollection of my childhood I have known a wonderful woman - a woman who cared for me; fed me; showered me; ran after me with a bowl of rice at dinnertime; fetched me to and from school; watched me in school through the windows.
She is one of the two women in my life who loved and cared for me unconditionally; my grandmother whom we affectionally called 'mama'.
She has had a hard life, fighting for each additional day for the past 10-15 years.
Today she's in hospital fighting for her life, floating in and out of consciousness and requiring medical machines to help her breathe - something we all take for granted.
She has seen me grow up; get married and have my first kid; Stevlynn.
And for me to see her now like this breaks my heart. She also startede thinking very hard and I realized I've not done my part for her for the past few years. I was too pre-occupied with catching up with my life in the recent years.
And with this I have alot of regrets. Regrets of me not spending enough time with her; of not telling her how much she means to me and how much I love her. Please, get thru this strongly and I will make up for the lost years.
I remember how she spent my 27th birthday with us; holding Stevlynn in her arms and how brightly she smiled and how happy she was.
Please god let me have her for another few more years for me to tell her how much I love her.
She told me in gasping breaths on Friday 'Adeline, 嬷嬷老了，没有用了。' my heart hurts so badly when she said that to me. I wanted to tell her she gave me everything I remembered from young and she has done more than her required for me, for the YEN family and cousins. But I couldn't for tears wld get the better of me when I think of losing her.
please let her get thru this, so that I can show Stevlynn the person whom I love so dearly and how much this person means to me. Let me show Stevlynn through her what unconditional love means...
You're my safe haven and I need you in my life. Be strong, for yourself and more selfishly for us.
