Saturday, January 16, 2010, 06:04
Breast Feeding - Look Back
Since Stevlynn's 2 months old today, i decided to look back at my breastfeeding journey and pen down some thoughts about it.
Towards the end of my pregnancy, i had a brief discussion with SS regarding breastfeeding which ended in like 30 seconds max that went ' I am going to fully breast feed our girl for as long as I can. Introduce the bottle only at later stage ( 6 to 8 weeks) and continue expressing when i go back to work' - Don't ask me where i get this firm thought in my head, i don't have EXTREMELY ENTHUSIASTS friends on breastfeeding, and is not the type of person to be pushed into something which is 'what everybody elses does'
When i first started, especially the first few latch on, i think back on what i told SS and kinda regretted it. It was painful and TIRING and frustrating. Stevlynn wasn't very cooperative the first few days, and showed no interested in feeding. (in fact i was childed by the nurses at KKH for not waking her up every 3 hourly to drink - their way of waking her up? stripping a NB whose only 2.8KG and scared of cold easily down to her birthday suit; thus allowing her to feel cold, shiver and scream at the top of her lungs. Pardon me if i do not agree with their method of 'waking baby up')
I went home to a confinement lady (who had a VERY short stint with us - a week) who isn't PRO breastfeeding, and at 4AM on the first night back with a crying baby in my arms, in our room doing nothing but seeing her cry cuz she is unable to hoax her INSISTING to me that i DO NOT have breastmilk, thus she is crying in starvation. Trust me when i say i WANT TO punch her; I would if i didn't have a crying baby to hoax
Like every first time mum, the nipples need time to 'toughen' up and it was uncomfortable to latch on. To make things worse, in the first week, i had SUPER bad engorgement *ouch*; blocked milk ducts & one super sore nipple that would hurt every time i latch on *thinking about it reminds me of the pain* There was a short period whereby i dread latching on for feeding and would cring in pain whenever she latch on. Such times, for a brief fleeting moment, i would contemplate giving up but this thought never stayed long enough for me to re-think it over or entertain that thought.
Yes i agree that it is EXTREMELY tiring, especially when it is 100% latch on, for nobody can 'help' you take over a feed, or ANY feed to that matter, thus on top of what i had to already deal with, i had an additional 'topping' of broken and insufficient sleep! But i would add that i have an extremely strong support structure/team at home, especially my parents who would 'take the baby' from me when i was exhausted or seemed that i couldn't cope or going bonkers with tiredness; thus allowing me to rest/sleep when she was awake. (For that, i am EXTREMELY grateful, and SS too, and feel that it's ONE of the contributing factors which lead to my success in breastfeeding and being sane)
Of course, the elderly around us does not fully agree to me breastfeeding exclusively, or latching on exclusively in the initial period, but lucky for me, again the STRONG support system and understanding from my mummy especially (with the advice, words of wisdom, 'if-i-were-you-this-is-what-i-would-do sessions) that i have my 'preferred' methods of mothering/parenting and providing me advices so that i am aware, but leaving the option open for me to decide; i MADE it!
I, together with SS & my parents, haven gotten into a routine with Stevlynn around her feeding and I'm proud to say, she's a heavy 4.7KG (from 2.8KG at birth and boy was my daddy shocked to hear her weight) baby who is 100% breastfed!
Some questions people might ask me:
- Do i regret whatever choices I've made regarding breastfeeding?
ME: Nope, i would do all the same thing/choices ALL over again
- Is breastfeeding rewarding?
ME: Reward is not seen immediately (i believe) but further down the road when you realize your child doesn't fall sick that easily, has a stronger bond with you, and her growth's all on track!
- Aren't out by the breastfeeding at every 3 hourly interval and waking up in the middle of the night?
ME: Yes, of course it's tiring, but somehow all mothers are clowns' having to juggle with everything else that happens and will somehow come out good. If i can (and i'm not exceptionally motherly before i delivered) so can anybody else :) No matter how tired, when your baby needs you, you and your body will find that last burst of energy so that you can provide for your baby.
- Don't you feel like a COW?
ME: Of course i do, but i'm proud to be my girl's cow and will do it ANYTIME! Plus point is that i save $$ on Formula!
The next questions are how long would i be able to continue breastfeeding, especially with the impending return to work upcoming, and if i am going to introduce formula milk (FM) and when am i going to wean her off the breasts and MANY more.
But i decided that come what may, i will continue to breastfeed as long as i can, taking mini steps at a time with her, giving her time for 'adjustment' and 'getting used to changes'
My conclusion of breastfeeding: MUST DO & CAN DO!
