Wednesday, August 20, 2008, 09:57
today's start was a painful disappointment for me
when i first heard it, i had no sad feelings about it
but when i told SS, it suddenly came to me that mayve i've lost 'that' chance to escape from what im subconsciously trying to leave
as much as i want to tell myself 'life goes on'
i find it hard, as maybe i had never wanted anything more than this
it came so close within my grasp but it disappeared
i feel lk hiding under the blanket crying it out.
