Thursday, March 16, 2006, 15:05
im actually in nlb...
sittin on the 8th floor, overlookin bugis and the surroundings,
sounds like a condusive environment for studying & tryin to squeeze my assignment out?
but nah, nthg is coming out man.
*eeks*
i somehow begin to hate calvin klein *haha*
i might go home and tear up all my CK clothes man
i cant write a single word out
thats how bad it is
i woke this morning definitely on the wrong side of my bed
though there is only 1 side i can get out of bed from
but i dun mean it in e literal sense la *toots* hehe
5 mins after i open my eyes, i started my day wrongly by being upset with SS
*aw so smart right?*
and now? at the library but...
firstly i cant find shit that i can use as research materials
and i seriously dunno how am i gonna squeeze this assignment out of my head
it seems that im on auto switch off mode
just a few days ago, a gerfren of mine msn-ed me and told me she broke off again
well of cuz i was as usual away from my comp
but den when i was it, i went like 'well what else is new about relationships' inside my head when i read what she wrote after she went offline *which was of cuz a few hours later*
shows my stand to some sense?
well to me, after awhile, some things are just not worth fightin for
whats ur stand?
*or maybe i think this way cuz im grouchy todae*
im fickle minded, haha
and she asked me 'how to get over fast?'
well in my head i went 'haha, wrong person to ask'
well indeed ma.. if i knew i wldnt have been stuck for so long
and u can never ever totally detach from your past experiences.
it comes everynow and then to 'haunt' you i guess?
sometimes i think back..
there are so many things 1 wld wan in his/her life
but at the end of the road
how many things out of this entire list do you actually accomplish?
i bet my ass, less den half.
thats why i never make lists...
why bother when you nv complete them?
im beginning to hate my hair in some sense
but mostly i aint bothered by it
cuz most of the time im not realli bothered about how i look
why bother when im mostly lack of sleep.
id rather spend the time on sleepin
or squeezin my assignment out of my head.
lolx..
at the end of the dae i ask myself
why shld i bother abt how pple view me if i can accept myself for what i am.
humans are afterall a mixture of many imperfections.
i might not be pretty, but so what?
i might not have the 'perfect body' but least i dun pop pills to make myself aneroxic nor skinny like shit... *beauty isnt abt being skinny lk some bamboo pole, its abt being happi and healthy*
maybe ive gone beyond that 'exterior stage'
and for all those id*ots who see me for what i am exterior
all i can sae is 'you all can jollywell f*ck out of my life, dun need pple lk u in my life to make me feel bad abt myself'
i might not be perfect, but im fine wif my imperfection
i still sufferin from my swollen eyes
no thanks to some ass in my family
dun mean i rarely flare up means i wun
i can be a bytch if i choose to.
im mostly unhappy nowadays
and i dunno why
and it frustrates me so
