Wednesday, November 30, 2005, 00:12
happiness
what exactly is it?
and how is it defined?
are you happi when u are not crying?
are you happi when u are numb?
i had a topsy turvy night last night
heights and falls of emotions
from disappointment, to worry, to happiness, den sadness and desolution
how come it seems that when my world is shaky yet im still expected to hold up other worlds? worlds that are not mine.
again, i guess
these are expectations, of others from me
when i fail such expectations, i feel as thou im lettin them down
but again, i onli have so much to share around
my 2nd half of the night was the surprised, yet enjoyable one
quietness and peacefulness
brings about laughter to my face, smiles ive not felt for some time
but again, somehow deep within myself, i know this isnt gonna last
somehow ill snap and lose it all again
but i guess, the point is not to think so much
and just take one day as it is
super tired out at work
maybe im not longer used to the rushed rushed hetic lifestyle ive kept so dearly to my heart once,and once i used it to escape from emotions
is this an indication to myself that i no longer enjoy what i do
or that ive become weak?
but again, whats exactly is weak?
the end of the year is in exactly 32 days
but what would this end of the year bring about?
what would be in store for me for 2006?
one things for sure
tiredness
esp when school starts
but maybe its good, to tire myself out so much that my brain cant help but be so tired that it cant think anymore
to live life one day at a time
no exceptionally highs
yet no exceptionally lows [to break me of cuz]
*yawns*
i need my bed this moment
in this big thunderstorm
its my covers and soft toys that cuddles me
adelynn
