Tuesday, August 30, 2005, 16:50
yes,in view of my new fixated thought in my head that i might be an utter failure.
i guess ill stand by it for the time being
till 1 of the gers decide that im too good for this sentence and kick e hell out of me, and out of this state.
well, apparently, wasnt in the mood to moan much
just decided to fix my thoughts on something else.
but again, as gers,
wandering thoughts bring u right back where u started.
[so im pretty much no where better]
took a short walk or rather stand in the drizzling rain last night,
refreshing i wld say
not to mention i arrived home with a blocked and runnin nose
and slept with it.
*serves me right all of u wld say* yar, i guess so too.
but again, the drizzle covers up for the tears.so who cares.
its kinda quiet in the office right now.
who in the right mind works late on tuesdaes? [guess den im not in a right mind?]
suddenly its so silent i can hear the air condition generators moving.
and i stone for awhile.
onli to realise below are my free flowed thoughts.
i remember my hair being wiped dry
rem telling him he was the first one who ever wiped my hair dry for me
and he said he would do it for me always always.
sumhow this had faded.
[believe it or not,my tears are falling down as im typing this]
its like twice for today
and im glad now, im ALL alone in the office
i remembered being tucked to bed by him
i remembered being patted to sleep
i remember waking up to his sleeping face
i remember having good night and good morning kisses.
i remember him making me laugh
i remember him tickling him
i remember teasing him
i miss such times.
okie, i gotta rush my reports out.
okie, now its back to my gruelling work.
and all i have is myself
for now at least
there's a weird pulling at my heart for that someone.
but i know no matter how hard e pullin of my heart would be.
would not make that person appear in front of me to smile to,hug at.
its gona be another long night of work for me.
[tired out]
[utter failure i might be]
[a princess i am no longer]
adelynn
