Saturday, August 06, 2005, 17:35
[painful and dreadful day]
i slipped right down 1 flight of stairs
it was my sisters' bdae and the kids were playin water and flour all over the house
and as i walked down, someone tried to rush past me and i fell
right down 1 entire flight of steps.
at i sat at the end of the flight of steps
my tears flowed
it was painful n daddy had to carry up me and place me on the sofa
what was more painful when my sisters tried to call him
and he rejected the call.
guess i deserve it huh.
to suffer my sore bum and painful ankle alone
with no1 to yang yang me
as daddy rubbed my leg for me
i remember that when his ankle hurted
i was the one who rubbed it for him
and seein the pain i inflicted on him when i was rubbin his leg
hurts me too
anywae tryin to be on a happier note
[which is kinda difficult now]
lookin at the state of my physical and emotional me
its my sisters 13th bdae
happi birthday gers
finally the noisy babies of the house are gettin bigger
lookin at them
i cant help but smile.
in some small ways
i do love them alot
i was waken up this morning by tiffy
for a early mornin tan
with my spiltting headache
and runny nose
and tired eyes
i join the gers for a short tan
as i lay in the sun
i couldnt help but stop to think of the times
as we lay quietly
with a book each in our hands
[or him holding his digital book grinz]
as we sprawled all over each other quietin readin
enjoyin such times.
and as i was in search for a lighter
i remember giving him 1 lighter
which he kept safely in his car compartment
and i remembered there was once
cuz i was hungry
he brought me to 401 for noodles.
layin in the sun
i remember we agreed to go tannin together
but we nv materialise it
[lazy us]
dun ask me how i crawled home last night
i simply cant recall
but i cld recall grabbing the 5 babies with subaru bearie and sleepin in the midst of them
somehow i didnt sleep in the middle of the bed
i slept at my side
i rememeber not wanting to wake up
in my aching,sore,painful butt and ankle
i wished i could simply go to sleep
and never wake up from this darkness.
im sleepy
im tired.
im hurt [physically] [ouch]
but i dun have him to yang yang me when its him that i want.
i saw his nick : why do it when u know it piss me off? abit to late to say sorry now eh?
guess he nv got the underlyin meaning of my outburst
i guess he thinks its cuz i dun trust him
its not that
but again
i guess nobody would understand
at the end of it all
subaru bearie knows me best for now
for i whispered all my thoughts to him
and cried on him
and hugged him real tight
a princess no more
adelynn
