Saturday, August 13, 2005, 22:20
im tired out.mentally & emotionally.
and all i have to sae
who has to hear?
or would the words ever come out from my mouth?
i wonder
i feel like ive reached a road block
and TP simply refuses to let me pass
and holds me back
but yet not giving me any info to why they are holding me back
this might just be how i feel in simple terms
i feel ive lost e connection
sumhow i cant feel him anymore
sumhow he's holding back
and im lost [but again since when im not lost?]
maybe im even more lost than previously???
im sad.
its as thou our time together has been snatched away
or taken away, or maybe e want for him to spend time on me is gone
and it saddens me.
for it makes me feel ive failed
[have i indeed?]
at times one cant help but be disappointment in situations
and times like such
ill do my best to conceal all sounds/tones/faces of disappointments im feeling
and show an okay me
im left with pooh pooh and bearie to acc me thru the down moments
where did our time go?
of where simply seein and being with that person brings about a smile?
and i feel the efforts no matter how little one tries for me?
it seems to be disappearing.
and it hurts
i said we needed a talk
he had some spare time in btwn things he had to do
yet he chose to go down devils wif his frens
has time with his frens surpassed things btwn us
[when i felt we need a talk?]
yet like a whirlwind of emotions going up and down ive been facing for the past week or so
he secured me with an sms that said no matter where he was and what he did, he wun step over the line n to trust him'
i belived...
if it was in the past...
even if i didnt sae we needed a talk
the time spent in btwn things he had to do
would be spent on me, with me.
[sighs, double sighs]
[guess i cant finish this entry, or rather i would wan to. not in the rite mood to i guess ba]
