Saturday, June 25, 2005, 12:36
Life is simply an irony. never have i imagined i would be typing this as im
fishing.
suddenly life feels even more lost as it already is
suddenly nothing much in this world seems pretty much important at all
and i stop to wonder why
ever thought what we are able to have such complex thoughts
ever thought why humans are such complex creatures
but ever stop to thinkg why we can be such complex creatures yet at times
yearn for simple things in life
like to be happi
like to laugh
like to be with the one u love
but again complex thoughts like
i want something more in life
i want more fun
i want more excitement
somehow hinders the simple life one can seek
at the end of the day
before one goes to bed
what does one think of?
what do you think of?
me? i sit down to recap the day
recap on life
maybe recapping is why i never managed to fully let go
fully understand
on days i watch my hammies in their cage
run on their wheel and make that irritating sounds the wheel produces
i envy their life
[ i have 2 hammies, called ah boy and ah ger FYI]
yeap, they have their fights, squabblesn [when they chase after each other,
or chase away each other and make squeaking noises]
but at the end of dae, ull somehow manage to see them sleepin together
the same applies to the 2 naughty dogs i have at home
princess my darling JRT, and lucky the maltese mixed, daughter of the
baby[maltese] that my father lost for me [i still get upset whenever i think
of it]
ever wondered why humans are not able to achieve this?
ever wonder humans have this ability to have super duper memory?
and therefore bearing grudges and some call 'xin ping'
humans have the exceptional ability to remember things and keep things
within them
unlike animals who show displeasure almost immediately
yet ever stop to think its our exceptional ability that is solely to humans
that might just be the cause of downfall of relationships btwn 2 human
beings
and im not talkin only about love
im referring to all kinds of relationships
friendships
relationships with ur family
relationships with your colleagues at work
relationships with your bf/gf
relationships with your ex bfs/ ex gfsi
even relationships with strangers that you dun even know
life itself is an irony
life itself is a mystery
life itself is like opening a christmas present [not knowin whats inside]
life itself is joy
life itself is love
life itself is happiness
life itself is unhappiness
life itself is anger
life itselt is frustration
life itself is pain
life itself is hurt
and i throw back the question to you now
what is life to you?
[answer me at adelynn21@gmail.com, ill post it up here since i took off the
tag board]
is one able to fully define life?
ive tried to...
my conclusion is...
life is nothing but emptiness. sumtimes i wished life cld be
shorter,simplier
but yet again
when i look back at my own answer
im not satisfied with it
are you able to give me a better answer?
i sure do hope so...
but again what are we as humans tryin to achieve?
is evolution causing a faster downfall for humans?
or is it actually aiding us?
i begin to doubt now
when there not internet, when computers were on ms dos [when there was no
windows]
wasnt life simplier?
where kids played marbles
where kids play hop scotch [my siblings nv played such games]
where kids ran around in the yard and talk rubbish
where kids had no hp
[now everywhere i go, where ever i turn, no matter how young a kid is, he or
she would have a hp in his/her hand]
is this evolution of humans?
is this good?
i pondered for a long while
but i still have no answer
do you??
ever wondered why marriages are able to be sustained for a much longer
period of time in the past, but not now?
ever wondered why can 2 people who have never met before in their lives,
only to see each other on their wedding day
sustain a lifetime of shared life and love?
and yet, now we have the choice of our own to choose
and yet go thru so many failed relationships or even marriages?
is choice realli such a bad thing?
what were my older generation values to marriage?
and what is my current generation's values to marriage?
has it totally changed?
i see so many broken marriages that i begin to falter in my stride to find
my other half to continue my journey with me
it instilled much doubts, much questions and much worry
i begin to believe that love does not exist, rather is cuz humans are not
borned to live alone
a relationships is to satisfy this, and its not the love that brings 2
together
let me quote a few examples
example 1: lets call the guy Jack and the girl Jill.
they had a shot gun marriage
lucky for them, they had a son
but the union of this 2 individuals was not of choice
but rather of circumstances
ive seen the quarrels they go thru
and been awake sittin down talkin to either one of them
but however we talked
this continues to be an endless cycle of unhappiness
Jack's not always happi cuz Jill's too possessive
Jill's not happy cuz Jack does not spend time with her and the child
i freak out when i see things like this
the kid suffers the most in the end
on ocassions whereby both are upset with each other
the kid would cry and both would not bother.
example 2: Tom and Jerry [though Jerry is a guy,lets assume it to be a ger
lol]
They were together for close to 7years
the natural next step be marriage
and they did.
however Tom after marriage continued to fool around outside
lucky fotr them they do not have kids
but both are sleepin together on the same bed at night
yet each spend time so little time together
i would say they spend more time with their friends than with each other?
is this wat u wan?
example 3: oh shit, i cant think of names.. haha, A & B then
A & B wanted to get married
but just after they told everyone they were getting married
A [guy] slept with B's friend. and caused an upstir
so now what?
is the marriage gona be on or off?
even if they were to continue and step into this marriage
would this flaw/mistake be within them for the rest of this marriage.
would this be a happi marriage?
example 4: C & D
C likes a non commitment life
D wants to get married [okie D is the ger, duh]
cuz of C's unwillingness to commit, D get resentful
and angry and upset.
and fears that C would go out and fool around every single day
becoming paranoid
becoming worried
lost herself
and her own self confidence
she broke down, and shunned in the shadows of life, of others
is this gona have a happy ending?
or rather would this have a happy ending?
so exactly how can a marriage be sustained?
ive been talkin to a fren
[he's in his late 30s]
and is happily married for 18 years
he also says
there is alot to marriage
and much tolerance
at the end of the day its a matter of choice
[and yes choice again]
is choice good?
we turn back to this question
what do you think?
i have doubts
without choice one's life would be forced, and therefore naturally causing
resentment
yet with choice, and knowing humans
you would know the dumb ass human being would always make wrong choices
and hurt him/her self in the process
and the pple involved in the process.
so whats ur stand on this?
perfection. what does it mean to you?
must another party fit your bill of perfection before you're able to fully
love the other person?
i think its unfair
cuz look back at urself
are u perfect enough to ask for a perfect partner?
are there even perfect human beings around?
nah, i seriously doubt so.
whats ur stand?
honestly, i do not know the intention of writing this
it sumhow all just came out from the tiny brain of mine
a trail of my thoughts maybe?
or just questions in my head?
which would you consider it as?
would very appreciate if anyone could come and untie such knots in my head
maybe i would be able to understand from another person's perspective
muacks!
[under the sun and burning hot]
[distraught princess]
[broken winged angel]
adelynn
p/s: i begin to doubt if my broken wings would be healed. before it has to
heal completely, im somehow stupid enough to break it again. haha.. now i
have multiple fractures. [grinz]
[wrote this yesterdae @ 545pm, but didnt have the time to post it till now]
