Thursday, April 21, 2005, 07:31
[7.29am]
its so earli in the morning
and yes, im not asleep yet.
maybe this is my own way of blockin things out.
im happi in some ways
relived in some.
sad in most ways
doubtful in others.
honestly, its mixed.
emotions are like a roller coaster,
up and down
changin ever so fast.
i saw the lost testimonials,
i was devastated.
as though he erased me in his life.
as thou i nv existed.
did i mean that little?
life's an irony.
i duno how to live life anymore
i dun wan to live life anymore
i wana just end it all.
sleep and nv wake up.
FIR lydia
FIR wo men de ai
last 2 songs in the car
keeps goin on and on in my head.
yes, im happy in some ways now.
is this happiness gonna stay?
or am i just damn good at spoiling happy and good things in my life?
i begin to think so
thinkin im incapable of holdin good things onto my life
and undoubtly ruining everything.
i remember kissin relynn and rexxie bye
it broke my heart
i miss relynn now.
i feel lk seein her
hearin her engine sound
her heartbeat we used to call it.
the tearing sounds going down north south
is one definitely ill miss
the fun and laughter and speed it once gave us
now its for him all alone.
if i cld
i would tke relynn away with me.
if i cld
i would ask him for it
but wld he give me.
breakin down
am i or not.
im not sure.
[mentally tired yet physically awake]
[emotionally torn]
lost soul
adelynn
