Wednesday, March 02, 2005, 22:58
[a sudden flashback]
met at bugis, had tepanki... i nv finished mine, i barely touched my food... we walked to take a bus home
i nv spoke...i nv held your hand...so unlike of me...
we reach home, i reached for my bags n packed my stuff...
i tot it was over... u sat against blue walls at the corner of your bed, bottom right i remember.... we were both wearing e same specs that dae. i packed my stuff.
i wrote u a letter and placed it on your pillow. i was ready to kiss you goodbye.
u cried, and u refused to look at me. those precious tears i nv seen before from you. i cldnt bear it, i wanted to just kiss you bye and leave. u nv saw me in my eyes, u refused. u kept crying, ur tears made me cry. made me feel e pain.
i reached over for a hug, and we hugged for long. u said i didnt love u,for i just wanted to walk out. i loved u so much,thats why i wanted to walk out.
[...i nv left that dae, but i left months later...]
a memory nv forgotten,just hidden beneath all those subconscious thoughts...
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i said: i want to go CV wif you.
u said: see how first [but i guess u nv intended to]
i said: im not tired anymore
u said: let it go
i said: i dont want to.
u said: take it ive let u down
i said: u nv let me down, we both did.
u said:
an unfilled future, untold words.
a pain nv felt before,
yet a reality so real.
i tried.
i realli did.
i hated make up, u liked it. i put it on.
i loved myself no matter how i looked, u hated me puttin on weight, i tried.
i hated having to guess, u loved 2 make me, i grew used to it.
i loved going out, u nv allowed. i relented.
i hated being some1 i was not, u wanted e change, i changed.
u loved urself too much, i said u were selfish, i gave in n accepted.
u hated when i whined, its me i said, but i stopped.
u loved it when i look good, to me it makes no diff, i tried.
u hated me biting my nails, i stopped.
i placed all my dreams, our baby n my love in u.
u shattered them all.
i picked up e pieces on my own to try and walk on wif u, u nv helped.
[im tired] [but i still do love u] [make me laff i said] [ make me happy u said]
[i thought: its not all about u say in our life, but i relented and gave u all the say] [i guard the ring lk a hawk,wear it all the time cuz i treasure it, and it meant us] [u wear and nv take it off, but do u rem it being on ur hand i ask?]
