Thursday, March 31, 2005, 15:46
[attempt to stop the ever spinning world]
i attempted, yet i found no energy
i found myself sms-ing tiffy this last night after i felt my war was lost
'i feel suffocated.as thou everyone wans a part of me,but i have given all the parts away,yet there are demanding more.what have i left?'
i guess this summarizes how i feel?
its somehow suffocating.
i went home last night like a soldier who had just the most important battle.
totally beaten, and demoralized.
dad had a mini function at home,
wasn't in any mood to participate.
quietly went to my room.
somehow i felt that i had to either run or break out.
and the tears just simply teared.
for at that moment, as i look back
i suddenly feel as thou i was incapable of making any proper decisions.
even he said i was moody the past few days
and so did my boss.
i suddenly for once in my life, mistrust my own judgement.
and i freaked out.
how can i mistrust his/her own instincts or judgement.
den how can still person continue?
i simply let the tears flow.
with my make up on
[and ended lookin like a witch cuz of smudged mascara lol]
and i poured it all out to him via sms.
somehow he never fails to make a sucky day seem not so bad.
and make it not so over bearing
i couldnt sleep last night
as usual of me when something's troubling me
hopefully someday ill be so tired that ill just fall flat and sleep
and maybe hopefully stop thinking about stuff for once
[rene n relynn in malaysia]
yup, the dottie and daddy left mummy in sg to go malaysia
track day as they call it.
hmmz, would be back by this evening
gues his battery would be flat when he comes back.
haha, i miss him.
[new staff]
guess who i hired for my new staff?
my sec school mate.
haha,
such a small world?
happen to bump into her when i was waitin for rene to come pick me up for lunch yesterdae
she was there to go another interview at my office block but on the 2nd floor
and so happened i need someone,
so 1 + 1 =2..
there, i got my new staff.
now comes the worry of the authority and all shit
its kinda hard when its personal frens?
well ill try my best -winks-
