Friday, December 24, 2004, 13:41
ok lets see, all cuz of 1 stupid hp bill i realised alot of things, things that shocked me, things that hurt me, and things that i nv thought cld happen.. i guess this is the shake that woke me up...finally...
he said that he totally forgot dec 14, and that he never had any intention to get me anything, not even that ring he promised, or the soft toys which he said so loudly in front of joel...i guess it was all just a dream, a dream that i placed myself into, given him too much faith,placed too much hope in him, given myself too much disappointments...
guess this brings about the toil on my heart, on my mental state, on my emotional state... there are sometimes whereby i feel like im very tired, i feel lk argh forget it, whatever comes come, whatever dun dun...
its xmas, and im only hoping for 1 present, a present that was promised months ago... my ring.. to others, some ask, why ask for a $55 stainless steel ring when u can ask for a white gold ring... i answer, its not the cost of the ring, nor if there are diamonds or not, or if its white gold, it about the tot behind it, the love behind the ring, to me it aint how much it costs, whats expensive about the ring is the love and the sincerity behind it...to me the cost of the ring is not the price tag, but the emotional tag behind it.... but im just hoping for sumthing that will never happen, aint i quite foolish...
anywae decided to change my life, change my job... hopefully by throwing myself into this job, it would take my mind off things, to tire me out so i cant think anymore...
sumhow xmas this year dun feel lk xmas, sumhow it just seem lk another ordinary day...
