Saturday, October 16, 2004, 18:10
...sat evening...
...shucks ive got a stupid headache thats irritating me... popped 2 panadols but cant seem to get rid of it.. so sads... looks like i gotta bear with it till it finally decides to kiss me bye bye... 2 daes after daddy's birthday he decides to stay in sg for 1 more day just to cook dinner and have dinner... i wonder whats up his sleeves this time, kinda weird.. lol... and when i complained about my messy hair, he even offered to sponsor my hair cut...which is like totally weird.. lol...but well since i have a free hair cut why not...
went to bed alone last nite, he was still upset about the frenster issue and decided to 'protest' by not coming to bed with me...finally crawled in to bed at around 4plus in the morning, by my hp time... subconsciously knew that i turned over to hug him to sleep, but he sort of pushed my hand away, or was i only dreaming? *lol* i cant get it clear either...
..work was like crap today... most of the time im like floaty floaty, didnt know exactly what was going on, partly bothered by the silly arguements we had been having, partly due to my dumb headache that simply refuses to go away... EeEekKkKss.........
was clearing up my computer when i found saved up frenster profiles ages ago... tried to load it into blogger, but seems like even my blog do not approve of me remembering such memories, it simple wld not allow me to publish my post... well i guess its also good la...
with my life in a roller coaster now, i guess im sort of blur-ed. and this headache aint helping at all man...shit...
as i think back on my past relationships, i smile cuz of the wonderful memories each one has given me, but cries when i remember the end of each one... but i guess that all is not important anymore, each past has given me better insights to becomin a better person, a better gf... but i aint perfect now, but again, who is perfect? or who can ever be perfect? i guess i haven met anyone who is perfect, but i doubt ill ever meet one, till den, i guess im happy the way i am now...
the thing that i hate most in life are silent angry moments, be it between couples or frens... or even anybody to be exact... being me, i cant stand angry silent moments..but i found out that when i try to make things better during such angry silent moments, i end up makin things worse.. how am i supp to make things better? there aint no templates for such things, but i begin to wonder... if...how... why... and what...
haha, i guess im going mad sittin in front of the computer the whole dae... well im anticipating to see rene again after his work... he's gonna go over to my place for dinner... and definitely me too.. hehe, i wonder how would we be like, and what tml would hold for us....
... this para is specially for my darling...
.... when times seem so tough u feel like throwin the towel in, do remember how much i love u, when times seem so fustrating, and u feel like strangling me*i believe at that pt ill also feel the same* i hope we can both find enough love to sit down and work things out, find the solace n the joy in this love we created... at times when im upset, moody or cranky about oct 13, i hope u do remember that im only just a human, and i have emotions.. with u bein logical do not mean that i must be logical too... beneath all my angry words, hurtin words, i do hope u know how much i love u... for i truly do...
