Wednesday, July 28, 2004, 11:57
found out that someone's mum is in hospital, kinda worried but dunno how to go about caring... hesistations about bumping into that person, but wanting to show my concern, but dunno how to. some might say, its just his mum, but to me, his mum realli cared for me, in her own silent ways and im touched by it...i guess @ the end of the day, all i can do is to put this silent concern @ a corner, hoping he wld know...
sunday went over to a friends place for a small dinner, saw her doggy furby.. cutest little thing i saw, with so much life, reminds me of 'danny boi' haha... after that 'beautiful eyes' came to pick me up, which was a surprise for me, never occured to me that he would do so knowing that its so far away... hehe...
mondae nite, 'beautiful eyes' fren mentioned 'limit' and when i asked about it that nite after the outing, i went silent...and somehow tears just fell like that... nv knew the reasoning behind the tears, but i cldnt get to sleep as he swept my hair away from my face and asked me to go to sleep... thought the 'limit' was over totally, but somehow it always seem to creep back... sometimes i wonder is it due to my sense of insecurity...
i like the way he sweeps my hair away from my face, cant seem to put the feeling into words, but i guess thats his silent small ways of showing he cares, and his comforting... the 1st time was when i had a nightmare and was making noises... 'beautiful eyes' silent ways of comforting & caring, thou he may think that i dunno or dun appreciate, but @ the bottom of my heart, i do know and appreciate...
remember there was this nite where i went over feeling down and blue, was hungry but didnt say much...as i lay in bed the tears fall and as he came over, he took me into his arms wiping away the tears askin me whats wrong... as i looked into his eyes, i saw the love,concern and comfort in his eyes as he wiped my tears away... somehow den all the worries seemed small, and faraway, and for those moments while i was in his arms i felt safe, protected...a feeling whereby i have not felt for a long time... and when i said i was hungry, he made pancakes for me... its all his sweet quiet ways that touches me...
monday nite went dwn to look for him after work.. he drank quite a bit, gave me a weird feeling as i walked in after buying cigg.. lookin @ him from far, the way he sat, the way he tilted his head down, the expression on his face gave me a feeling there was something @ the back of his head, but again i never knew the answer... he's like a book of answers, but the pages are all blank, and its so difficult to find the answers...
tuesday...our 1st head on clash, the 'silent war' which ive always hated the most... all cuz of a stupid summon, deciding who to take it... but all well ends well, when i went to look for him...i wonder if this peaceful life would continue for a long time, or wld he get sick of it...
..had some time thinking back about my love lifes.. decided to write something each about them as there were many thoughts flowin back..hopefully 1 dae ill finish and post it up here..till den, i need to go and bathe and start my dae.. lol...
